Prankfully Yours
by marksmom
Summary: Harry and Draco are together, but Sirius isn't convinced that Draco is good enough for his godson...Enter Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.  Rated M for implied slash, one swear word and Mpreg. Remus/Sirius/Severus/Fred are alive.


Sirius Black could not believe what he was seeing; his eyes had to be playing tricks on him. What else could explain the sight of his godson passionately kissing his former worst enemy? Sirius kept his eyes trained on the couple as they interacted with each other after the kiss. Their body language spoke of an intimacy borne of years of closeness; their eyes spoke volumes as well.

Harry's eyes were soft and gentle as he looked down at the slightly shorter blonde. He raised one hand and smoothed it down the side of Draco Malfoy's face, causing the blonde to turn his head into the caress. Malfoy leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to Harry's lips, making his eyes close and his lips follow Malfoy's back to deepen the kiss.

Sirius had known that they had buried their animosity, but hadn't realized that it had become something more...personal. He continued to watch as the kiss ended and the two boys began to talk in low tones. Sirius wished he had one of those Extendible Ear things from the Weasley Twins; it would really come in handy right about now.

"You realize he's still watching us."

"I know Drake. He's going to be watching us like a hawk now. Don't be surprised if he tries to find a way to separate us."

"Not going to happen, Boy Wonder. We've been through too much to allow your godfather to tear us apart. If Uncle Severus and Father couldn't do it, Sirius Black won't stand a chance."

"I won't let him, but don't forget that he's one of the Marauders. He and Remus have been pulling pranks on people for longer than we've been alive. I'm just saying that we shouldn't be surprised."

"Now that I've been warned, he's the one who'll have to watch out. We have FrednGeorge on our side, and they're probably far worse than the Marauders could ever be."

Harry chuckled and leaned down to kiss Draco again. "You may be right, Love."

Draco smiled slightly, that Slytherin smirk that Harry loved so. "I'll go talk to them. After what they gave us for my godfather, I think they could come up with something spectacular for yours."

~OOooOO~

Sirius cornered Remus in the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place to ask him about Harry and Malfoy. "So, when did Harry and the Mini-Malfoy get together?"

Remus smiled slightly before he answered. "Padfoot, if you had been paying attention, like you say you do, you'd have known that Harry and Draco have been an item for over a year now. They got together just after the final battle." He turned and brandished a wooden spoon at his best friend and lover, splattering spaghetti sauce all over the front of Sirius' shirt. "Don't you even think about it! They're good for each other! They were both so lost after the battle...Harry lost Ron and Draco lost Blaise. Remember how we felt when we lost our best friends."

"I know, I know...but _**Malfoy**_? Why him? Why not...why not..._**anyone**_ but him!"

"They're _**good**_ for each other! And, if you want an idea of what they'll do to you, just go ask Snape what they did to him. He still shudders when he thinks about it.

~OOooOO~

Sirius knocked on the door to Severus Snape's office in the Hogwarts' dungeons. As he waited for the man to answer, he thought about why he was there. He wanted to know what Harry and Malfoy had done to him when he tried to separate them. It couldn't have been _**that**_ bad, could it?

"Mutt...to what do I owe this...pleasure?" Severus stood before him in all his black-clothed glory. Sirius entered the office and sat in one of the armchairs arranged before the desk.

"I want to know what Harry and Malfoy did to you when you tried to break them up. Remus told me I should ask." Sirius watched as a violent shudder ran through Snape's body and was stunned. What could be that bad?

"I will say just four words...that should be explanation enough. Fred and George Weasley." Each word was enunciated precisely, giving them the feeling of a curse.

"Oh Sweet Merlin!" Sirius breathed. Those two boys were worse than all the Marauders put together. "What did they do?"

Severus paused for a moment and his nose twitched. He grabbed a handkerchief out of his pocket and held it to his nose, squeezing hard to prevent a sneeze. He was unsuccessful. Sirius' eyes almost popped out of his head as the strands of Severus' hair turned a fluorescent pink and arranged themselves into a tall bouffant hairstyle. He sneezed again and his hair became day-glo green and formed a mohawk.

"Dear God! That's-that's...wow!" Sirius was in awe; nothing they had _**ever**_ done came close to this!

"_**THIS**_ is what your godson and my godson did! They went to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes and requested the worst thing that those menaces could think of! Every blessed time I sneeze, my hair changes colour and style. It takes ten minutes before it returns to my normal colour. The prank lasts for a year...a _**YEAR**_! I have two more months of this before it wears off!"

Sirius rescued his jaw from the floor before commenting. "So you recommend leaving them alone?"

Severus nodded before sneezing again. As Sirius made a tactful retreat, he looked back to see the results...

Severus Snape was sporting bright purple ringlets.

~OOooOO~

Sirius wasn't giving up; he was well known for being stubborn as hell. He still didn't think that Malfoy was going to be good for Harry...just look at his father! He began to plot, conveniently forgetting that Remus was the one who came up with the good plots; Sirius had just been the Marauder with the ideas.

~OOooOO~

Harry was lounging on his bed when Sirius knocked and stuck his head through the doorway of the bedroom. "You alone, Harry? No Malfoy with you right now?" He completely missed the foot and hand disappearing underneath Harry's bed.

"Do you see him? What is it you have against him anyway?"

"I just want to make sure that he's the right one for you, Harry. I don't want you getting hurt."

"Remus told me that he sent you to see Severus. Did you go?"

"Yes." Sirius became wary of the look in his godson's eye.

"Keep that in mind, Sirius. Severus learned the hard way; don't make the same mistake."

"Don't threaten me, mister! Don't forget who I am!" Sirius got indignant; he hadn't expected Harry to threaten _**him**_ with a prank! He turned and left the room, slamming the door on his way out. Harry heard the sound of the door locking and then the peculiar pop of the room being silenced.

"Sonofabitch! He locked us in, Drake!"

Draco slid out from under the bed and straightened his clothing. He walked over to the door and tested the doorknob, hissing slightly when it burnt his fingers; he stuck them in his mouth and looked over at Harry. "What do we do?" He had to take his fingers out and repeat the sentence.

As an answer, Harry crooked his finger at his boyfriend and smiled. Draco returned the smile and stalked over to the bed.

~OOooOO~

A month had gone by since Sirius had locked Harry in his room overnight. Harry had never mentioned anything, so Sirius hoped that he had forgotten about it. Remus always seemed to know when that thought crossed Sirius' mind and he shook his head; if Sirius actually thought that Harry and Draco wouldn't do something, then he needed to have his head examined.

Today was Draco's birthday and Harry had invited Lucius, Narcissa and Severus over, along with Draco (it was a given that he would be there), for dinner. He had been in the kitchen cooking all day and had just finished helping Kreacher set the table for seven. Harry had been coming down with something and Remus had sent him to the healer two days ago for a check-up. When they had been told that it was just a stomach thing and had to go away on its own, both Sirius and Remus had relaxed; they hated when Harry was sick, it made them feel useless.

Draco came through the floo and, after greeting them, headed straight to the kitchen. That behaviour was odd, normally he chatted with them for a bit before going off to find Harry. Remus shrugged, thinking that Draco had become overly protective of Harry since the locking-in episode. Lucius, Narcissa and Severus all arrived and they joined them in slightly stilted conversation until Harry sent Kreacher to summon them for dinner.

They were all relaxing in the living room with glasses of wine and, in Harry's case, apple juice and talking amongst themselves. Harry stood and took Sirius' wine glass away from him and placed it on a side table. Before Sirius could complain, Harry held out his hand and blew a small bit of glittering powder into the man's face. Sirius sneezed.

Severus' face lit up with delight; where Sirius had been before, there now was a woman. It was obviously Sirius, dressed in women's clothing, complete with cosmetics and styled hair. The shriek that Sirius let out would have made any woman proud.

"_**What the HELL is THIS?"**_

"This, my dear godfather, is payback for locking me and Draco in my room overnight. You thought you were keeping us apart for that night, but he was already there, hiding under my bed. If you had seen him, you'd have told him to leave, and we weren't having any of that." Sirius sneezed again, and the first set of clothing was replaced by a long pink negligee and robe. "This prank, like Severus', will last for a year. It will only affect you when you are not in a public place. For instance, it will not change your appearance if you sneeze in Diagon Alley, but it will if you are in the loo of a restaurant where no one can see you. It will affect you here and in anyone else's house, but not if there are large amounts of people around. Severus' prank does the same thing; it doesn't affect him when he is teaching or in the Great Hall, but it will if he is in a meeting with only one or two other people. Any more than that and the prank won't work." He looked over at his former professor. "Albus fire-called me a week ago and wanted to know where I had purchased that prank. Apparently, it made quite the impression during your meeting with him and Minerva." Draco smirked when Severus flushed slightly.

Sirius sneezed again and was now dressed like a 50 Knut whore from Knockturn Alley. Remus lost his composure and sprayed the floor with his wine as he laughed.

Draco stood and wrapped an arm around Harry. "There was one other side-effect from your little demonstration, cousin." He looked at Harry and Harry nodded back at him. "When you locked us in that room upstairs, we didn't have our wands with us, so we weren't able to cast contraceptive charms. In about eight months, Harry and I are going to have a baby. It isn't a stomach bug, per se, but it does have to run its course on its own. Just thought it might make you think twice about doing something like _**that**_ again."

Narcissa and Remus leapt out of their seats and converged on Harry, each of them hugging him and fussing over him. Lucius smirked when he saw that Sirius had fainted. "Not much stomach for that sort of thing, eh?"

Remus looked up at Lucius and then down at Sirius. "Well, I did tell him that Harry and Draco would get him back if he tried to separate them." He looked at Harry. "How many times does it have to cycle before it hits the Knockturn Alley whore again? And do the clothes come off?"

Harry smiled and raised his glass of apple juice. "To Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes...may they never run out of ideas or pranks. Thank you, FrednGeorge!"

**~OOooOO~**

**This is a repost after Fanfiction decided to remove all of my 'chapter' breaks...sorry!**


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